Over the weekend, Kevin Hart made a vague video for social media apologizing to his wife, Eniko, and his 2 children. The video was him saying that, at this point in his career, he knows that he has a target on his back and knows that people look at him as a come up. With that knowledge, he said that he made a mistake that he is too smart to be making. While he didn’t exactly say what that mistake was, the blogs didn’t take their time digging up a photo of Kevin and the same model he was caught with in a car earlier in the summer. In the photo, he’s obviously hugged up in a way he shouldn’t be being a married man and father to 2, soon to be 3, children. He also stated in the video that he was being extorted by the woman and decided not to pay for her silence and to just come out with it. This, I am sure, is just the tip of the iceberg.
The entire scandal is not a huge surprise because Kevin admitted that cheating was the reason his first marriage ended. Actually, his ex-wife said that his new wife was one of the side chicks back when they were married. Either way, it wasn’t totally unexpected. Out of all of this craziness circulating around the situation and as we wait to see how it continues to play out, there is one glaring takeaway that shines brighter than all else. It’s quite obvious, really. That is to stop idolizing other people’s relationships in real life and on social media.
Social media is a place where we share our happiest moments with the world. We share marriages, unions, baby arrivals, exciting creative projects, etc. We may, at times, also go to social media to seek community when we are going through a rough time though that is far less than the former. When it comes to relationships with friends and spouses, social media is like the gift wrapping on a mystery box. The wrapping is shiny, stunning, and photographed in the perfect lighting. But, what that wrapping paper is actually covering up is a mystery you, as the viewer. I know countless situations, not just relationships, where what you see is completely far removed from what the truth is.
For me, there was a guy that I was dating and spending time with. As far as I understood and from what he told me, I was the only person he was dating so I’d post pictures of us freely, talk about him by name, and openly share my budding relationship. I even cut off my bench warmers for him. On the outside, it looked like I was well on my way to a beautiful thing. Some people might have even been envious. But, what I didn’t snap a photo of was all the nights he stood me up and I’d stay awake, anxiety ridden until the next morning. I didn’t post about when he didn’t show up to my birthday party at the last minute. I skipped the status update about the girl that called me, after him and I were dating for 9 months, to tell me that they’d been dating for 8 months (actually I did post that because I’m petty but you get the point). In my case, that beautiful, opaque wrapping was concealing a mounting pile of chaotic mess.
It is easier said than done to just assume everything you see on social media is bullshit because honestly that’s not true either. There are actual happy times and times of love and joy. However, do not ever look at another’s life that they post and determine what the rest of their days are like based on that one well lit photo. They are still human and are hunkered down with the same self doubt, annoying spouse, kids that won’t let the shit alone, and mornings that they wake up and want to immediately climb back into bed. Social media, for everyone, allows us to edit our lives and tailor it perfectly but the shitty pieces are still there. Kevin is still a cheater, Eniko is still probably going to take him back, and in a year’s time, they are still going to be glossy and shiny like the ideal American family you always wanted to be.