25 Reasons Why I Am Still Single (& Probably Will Be for a While)

Photo Credit: niaje.com

I have explained to you guys how utterly awful my love life is. From fuck boys to heartbreak, I’ve dealt with it all ya’ll! But, after my last stint of imprisonm– I mean after my last relationship, I realized that maybe I am single for a reason. As a matter of fact, maybe there are 25 reasons why I just can’t seem to get it together.

  1. I need as much alone time as I need us time. But if your balance isn’t the same of mine, that’s not going to work.
  2. I love beards while simultaneously hating them when they touch me at all.
  3. If you don’t text me back within a reasonable window (that is 60 seconds if you are wondering) then I start to consider all of the foul things you are probably doing instead.
  4. I hate people.
  5. I am emotionally unstable. I mean, aren’t we all?
  6. I can’t deal with your little quirks. I JUST CAN’T DAMMIT!
  7. I am like a camel when it comes to sex; I can go a long ass time without it.
  8. I really don’t feel like compromising most of the time.
  9. Selfishness feels so damn good.
  10. I am a wild sleeper so, unless you want to wake up with a black eye, let’s not.
  11. Keeping score and holding grudges is what I do best.
  12. The fact that you were with other people before me is kind of annoying.
  13. I want to fart without hearing you say ew, but you’re a girl. I GOT GAS TOO!
  14. But, I don’t want to hear your farts though because like ew.
  15. I want to watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it.
  16. I have spent too much of my 20’s watching crime shows so with every move you make, I am calculating 100 possibilities that could result in you killing me for my assumed inheritance (I ain’t got no money though)
  17. I am too career focused and relationships take time.
  18. I want to have sex with different people. Not a bunch but not the same one.
  19. I am a commitmentphobe. It sounds good in my head until I actually do it.
  20. I am stubborn and honestly will do whatever I want in the end.
  21. If we break up, I have to pick up so many pieces of myself.
  22. Having a mate sometimes is like having a child and I don’t want anymore kids.
  23. When I think about long term relationships where I am with the same person day in and day out, my scalp starts to burn or something.
  24. I REALLY love cats.
  25. #24 again.

6 thoughts on “25 Reasons Why I Am Still Single (& Probably Will Be for a While)

  1. I LITERALLY HATE YOU for all of these….lmaoooooooooooo i cant…numbers 24 n 25 were so random…lol


    1. haha those are the truest ones! You know I am ridiculous lol!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This i know…..i was like i literally hate her to the extreme now…each one had me more tickled than the last..i almost choked on my water…lol


  2. haahahahha you’re out of control! This list is ridiculous, hilarious AND relatable!


    1. Lol!! Those are literally my life goals for personal development; to be ridiculous, hilarious, and relatable!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. lol well you’re on the right track


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