#2fingersinthebootyassKanye: My Weirdest Sex Experience

At this point, I just feel like I can talk to you all like y’all are my internet besties. I’m comfortable. So here’s what happened:

Years ago before I had real world responsibilities like a child, I was a heavy partier. I went out almost every weekend draped in the finest Rainbow and Forever 21 dresses. I was fly.

One night, I went out to club to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Neither that club or that friendship exist anymore. The night was going great; half wig poppin, cheap drinks flowing, and beautiful people everywhere.

I caught the eye of a sickeningly handsome guy that we will call Chris (because my friends and I said he looked like Chris Brown. That was a stretch). We chatted, danced, and drank all night and finally exchanged numbers.

Over the coming weeks, we texted and had a few phone conversations that, now looking back, were flat and uninteresting. One night, he asked to come over and chill. My instinct said hell naw. My friend was like, yeah girl. Why are you scared. So, I said yes (we shall call that mistake #1).

Hours pass and it is hitting booty call hours on my clock and he finally calls to say he is downstairs. Every muscle in my body was saying stop, don’t go. But, I mean, I had already affixed my half wig perfectly and shaved. I couldn’t back out now. (This.. this is mistake #2).

We kept the conversation short because, let’s get real, we both knew why he was here. We started out slow, sensual. My tense muscles relaxed and I was happy that I decided to not listen to logic. He positioned me to get on top and I was like yes!

Then it began:

“Pinch my nipples” he said low and breathy.

Ok, pinch your nipples. I can do that. I thought

“Pinch them HARD” he demanded

I’m sorry what?

“Bite them”

But they are hairy.

“Twist them. HARDDDD” he begged.

I don’t wanna.

The pinching and biting and twisting weren’t enough for Chris, though. His last request before I dried up and he got the hint was for me to smack his nipples, hard. 

I had to imagine that those poor rough nipples were close to losing all sensation.

At the end, I didn’t know what to say. I mean, nipple abuse seemed like a request you make when you are a tad bit more comfortable, no? There is nothing wrong with being open about butt play, nipple abuse, or whatever. I just found this experience particularly… interesting.

He then said his friends were waiting on him or something like that and I had to wonder, would they notice how hard his nipples were under his thin t-shirt?

4 thoughts on “#2fingersinthebootyassKanye: My Weirdest Sex Experience

  1. “in the finest Rainbow and Forever 21 dresses. I was fly” lol i hate you so much for that statement…lol


    1. hahahahaha I was young and ready!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Me too gurl…i used to have my half wigs poppin…hell i got one on right now…aint much change…ha ha


  2. this is too funny. I’m trying to think back but can’t recount anything as weird.


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