7 People You Absolutely Should NOT Buy Gifts For This Holiday Season

Listen, there are about roughly a bazillion gift guides floating around the interwebs. Budget friendly, for him, for her, for your cat, for your dog, for Sam I Am! But, what you really need to know is who you should avoid wasting your hard earned Christmas bonus on.

  1. Your boss that you can’t stand the other 364 days of the year– If your boss is really like an overseer on a plantation and times your bathroom breaks, this person doesn’t even deserve a holiday card. All bosses aren’t created equal. Some are phenomenal and make the work environment, no matter how shitty the job, feel like a dysfunctional family; the warm and friendly kind. Other bosses can make just about any environment feel like hell. You wouldn’t get Satan a Christmas card would you? Or would you?
  2. Becky from accounting– You don’t know her. You barely speak in the hallway. It will be as awkward as you assume it will be when you deliver your home baked cookies to her office and she barely cracks a smile. BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HER!
  3. Your ex’s mother– You broke up with that dirt bag years ago. He cheated on you constantly, never picked up his dirty ass socks, and snored! And you want to get the woman that created that guy a gift? I think not. (Unless you guys have kids together. That may or may not change things).
  4. Your cousins, aunt’s, daughter’s, uncle’s, new girlfriend– Now you know!
  5. Your frenemy– You love her, you hate her; she’s like your own personal sour patch kid. She may sleep with your boyfriend but then buy you a box of Kleenex to wipe your tears as you cry about it because she knows you ran out after the last bullshit she pulled. She doesn’t get a gift pal!
  6. All of your neighbors– If you are like me, you have a bunch of neighbors that chat. So, if you give Mrs. Roberts a gift but none of the other neighbors, they will find out and they will hold it against you. Remember, you have to live close to these folks.
  7. That person that only contacts you when they need something– Why in the hell should you buy them a gift when you know good and well that they are going to text you in a month for a ride, money, food, a back rub; SOMETHING!

[Read also: 48 Ways To Not Be An Asshole This Holiday Season]

Honestly, you can just decide to screw it and get your Grinch on. Like, before his itty bitty heart grew.

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