Must Have Hair Advice For White Moms with Black Kids

White Ohio mom suing sperm bank
White Ohio mom suing sperm bank

Just about everyone has read the story of the white lesbian couple that went to their local sperm bank and chose a donor that was white. Though, I am sure there were other deciding factors.

The couple was wildly surprised when their precious baby girl came out with a head full of naps and slightly brown skin. Turns out they were accidentally inseminated with the sperm of a black donor.

One of the reasons that the parents are suing their sperm bank is because:

1. They have to go to black neighborhoods to get the toddlers hair done. Who takes a toddler to a hair salon?

This is a problem I see often with white parents that have black or biracial children that have kinkier hair textures. And, you know, it makes sense because if I had a white daughter or son, it would take me some time to figure out the right shampoos, conditioners, and products to use for them. So, I get it.

Sandra Bullock and her son
Sandra Bullock and her son
  • If you are a white parent with a black or biracial child with kinky hair, it is essential that you first tell them that they have beautiful hair. This sounds silly, trivial even. But the truth is, hair is extremely important in the black community and we have struggled for generations with trying to conform to the European idea of beauty. So, your child needs to understand that while your hair is different, their hair is quite beautiful too.
  • Read up on what kinky hair needs to stay healthy. I assure you, it is different from what white textured hair needs. It is science. Blogs, videos, books, websites, friends, use all of your resources.
  • Use those same resources to look up hairstyles that make your child’s hair manageable but cute too. Let her wear it down, up, ponytails, braids, learn to braid, learn to twist, treat it like a new craft to master!
  • Never perm it while they are children. Your child may grow up a decide to chemically straighten their hair but that is their decision. By making that decision for them, you are showing them that there is a problem with their texture that they are born with. Don’t over straighten or overly alter their texture. Let them love their natural hair.

The important thing to remember when you have a child that has kinky hair is that it is important to guide them to loving their hair. The world will teach them that their skin, hair, entire being is not good enough. Your job as a loving parent is to show them that they are beautiful.

1 thought on “Must Have Hair Advice For White Moms with Black Kids

  1. This is good advice. I especially like the suggestion to always affirm their hair is beautiful and that they are worthy in every way! That is the most important thing a parent can do for their child.


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