Natural Hair, Permed Mentality

Is there a ‘good hair’ trend emerging in the natural hair community?


I have an afro texture making having defined curls nearly impossible-- and I wouldn't have it any other way! Self love
I have an afro texture making having defined curls nearly impossible– and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Self love


Lately, I am noticing more and more how divided the natural hair community is becoming. While there is solidarity among naturals because we all understand where we started and where we are trying to go, there is this little, nagging division that seems to be emerging.

First, let me start by saying when my hair was chemically straightened, I had a certain way of viewing my hair. The longer, straighter, easier to manage, the better. I wanted to be able to throw my butt length locks in a pony tail and then let it down as it blew in the wind. That, of course, never happened. When I initially went natural, my desires changed a bit. I wanted big, long, and defined curls. That was my success point. Please take note that I didn’t mention healthy hair or accepting the kinks that sprouted from my scalp. I wanted long curls– period!

When I look at the growing natural hair community, I notice two things. One, the community is growing and women that would have never considered going natural are rocking their afro puffs with pride and it sincerely swells my heart with love! Two, there is a hierarchy forming that is not so pleasant. Women with long, defined curls  with silky like textures are regarded as having ‘good hair’ while naturals with kinky, tightly coiled fros that do not hold curls are alright but most certainly not preferred. While it is perfectly acceptable to have a preference in regards to your hair type, I fear that this hierarchy will deter women from embarking on a natural journey for fear that their hair will not meet lofty expectations of having ‘good hair’. I constantly; they instead have ‘nappy coarse hair’.  Natural hair, all textures, lengths, and curl patterns, are beautiful. We all went natural to get in touch with our original state; be it kinky, curly, soft, or coarse. One hair type is no better than the other and as a community, we need to rally behind that so that in 3 years, perms are a thing of the past. Natural hair is all about self-love and that has to be remembered and practiced above everything.


PS. Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter @youngfabnatural for more pictures of hairstyles, recipes, and the crazy daily happenings of life!

6 thoughts on “Natural Hair, Permed Mentality

  1. I never liked that “good hair” mentality. I haven’t noticed it in the facebook groups that I am in but what I have noticed is that naturals are “picking on” women who are not “natural enough.” Which gets on my ever-lovin nerves. They are so critical and judgmental of how ppl want wear their hair. I wear weave, color, I flat iron when i want, I’ll even throw on a wig if it makes my day. Some women are boojee naturals in my opinion. The be like “you only natural if you only use mother nature on your hair, and no heat, and no weave, and you co-wash, and embrace and stop hating yourself. Only then will you be dubbed natural….” I’m like sit down wit all dat. lol


  2. I totally agree. There is a lot of division as far as natural hair types and what some people will go crazy over. I have afro texture as well. I get frustrated with my hair but I love my hair in it’s natural state. It’s mine and I love it 🙂


  3. I think it will be a gradual move for our natural hair community. Just like going natural took us YEARS to accept and be accepted in the professional world, this too will take time. We are a superficial people and what we think “looks” best is what we will gravitate to. My daughter said she was going to go natural took one look at my hair (which is kinky) and said, “nope, cause it wont be curly.” This made me feel some kind of way but its her choice. And even I, thought about when I start interviewing for new jobs that I am going to either straighten my hair (not creamy crack…lol), wear a wig, get braids, or put it in a ponytail (if it can be done). If my hair was more curly, I dont think I would be thinking of changing it for an interview. So dont know if that makes me guilty of that same mentality or not.


    1. I think you are right and it will take time for natural hair, kinky and coily, to be accepted and as lusted over as curly hair. However, that will start with our community first. If I see a woman with a kinky tightly coiled fro exuding nothing but confidence and owning what she has, I honestly have no other choice but to love it, or at least accept it, as well. The permed mentality will simply cause another division of good hair bad hair in our community. Time will tell. I think when your daughter sees how much you love your hair and how beautiful it is, she will come around. The mentality comes from a deeper place that would make this comment 100 pages long. But I’m sure your hair is gorg are you are doing an amazing job!


  4. So true, we all have good hair, it grows, thrives and on our heads plus every hair texture is different so good hair for all. Well I have kinky coily hair, 4C texture, and would not have it any other way, I admire and love all hair textures but am in love with my own because she is truly unique.

    That’s what all girls have to do, accept their hair for what it is, beautiful, unique and their own.

    Thanks for the post girl.



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